Will you give him a chance?

18 Sep.                 Tuesday.        Sunny

He brought a lighter to the class and burned a paper. In the second class, he lighted up the lighter right in front of a girl's face. In the third class, he brought a knife.




I had to called his parent, on behalf of his coach. My manager said it is better to withdraw him from the class.

Me: May I speak to Calvin's father?
Dad: Yes speaking.

Me: Calvin's father, the purpose of the call is to discuss about Calvin's behaviour. I believe that coach X had spoken to you and updated you about his condition.

Dad: Yes. We are very sad about that. I spent so much effort sending him to a good school, good program and even consult the professional person. He didn't seem to appreciate it.

Me: I understand your feeling, it is quite disappointing. We think that it is better for him to stop the class. We might not be able to help him.

Dad: Huh? This is too harsh. Are you going to give up on him?
(Talked a lot, trying to request for a chance) This is part of your responsibility. You are a motivational program, you are supposed to provide him the motivation to improve himself. He is just a bit playful.

Me: I think you know that he brought a knife to the class, aren't you?

Dad: Yes. I found the knife when I checked his bag. He said he got it from his friend in the school. Somehow he is just a bit naive and playful. He didnt know that this action is dangerous.

Me: (feeling ridiculous, how could a teenger did not know the danger of a knife? OMG. ) Calvin's father, do you know that he brought lighter to the class? Do you know that he actually lighted the lighter right in front of a girl? This is dangerous!

Dad: I did not know. Why no one ever inform me? This is your responsibility. As an educator, you should do your part to help us!

Me:(what? The previous coach did not inform you? Haiz...) Oh, we are very sorry about that. Yes, this is our mistake. Trully orry or that. However, we think that we don't really can help him. I would suggest to continue with the professional help.

Dad: This is unfair. You should help him with other ways. You think I did not know about the psychologist? I can do my own research but I still ask your opinion. You think why I still ask you? (Sounded mean and made me felt threaten)

He talked a lot.

Aftet 30 minutes of discussion, no result. I ended the phone call.

Lord, if you were here, what would you do?

I suggested to stop him for at least one lesson due to safety reason. His father said I was being stigmatized.
Then, another 30 minutes of bargaining, talkinga bout the same thing over and over again.

Me: (getting impatient) Very sorry, we have to do this because it seemed like Calvin did not appreciate our effort even though we have done a lot to help him.

Dad: No, you are giving up on him!( trying to talk more without listening)

Me: (started to feel angry) If we want to give up, we would give up long time ago! We tried many ways but it didn't seem helpful. Like what you said, he was appreciative. We talked nicely to him, we warned him, we did a lit of effort but seemed like he didn't take it seriously. Thus I would suggest to stop one lesson so that he can think about it seriously!

Dad: (finally keep quiet) Ok. We will try this. Then next class can he come back?


This is really hard.
Really hard to give a chance to a person that did not change after so many chances given to him.

John chapter 8, a woman was caught for her sin. The teachers of the law asked Jesus what should they do.

John 8:7
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

To look at others' flaws, is very easy. But to give them a secind chance, is not that easy.
Pastor Joshua Jung always taught us to have the mentality of the Christ.
Today when I spoke to this father, did I really had the mentality of the Christ?
Do I really understand the love of the Lord?